The Setup: A 5,454-line commit lands with the message lots of fucking about. Nobody reads it. Why would they? It’s working, right?
The Plot Twist: Buried deep in the diff, two critical bot functions were quietly replaced with this masterpiece:
async collectItems(itemType, quantity) {
console.log(`[Collection] Collecting ${quantity}x ${itemType} (not implemented yet)`);
await this.wait(1000); // the code equivalent of “thoughts and prayers”
}
async depositItems(items, chestLocation) {
console.log(`[Deposit] Depositing items (not implemented yet)`);
await this.wait(1000); // vibes only
}
The Result: A bot that would receive orders to gather 64 diamonds, announce its intentions to the void, take a power nap, and report back: “Mission complete, boss.”
Lessons Learned:
Maybe read the 5,000-line commit
(not implemented yet) in production is a cry for help
await this.wait(1000) is not a substitute for functionality
The commit message was accurate. It was, indeed, lots of fucking about.
___
DOH:(
